MAYBE ITS TIME I BECOME SELFISH?
MAYBE ITS TIME TO NOT CARE ABOUT OTHER PPL?
MAYBE ITS TIME I WASH MY HANDS OFF U PPL?
IF U ALL REALLY WANT TO SAY THEN SAY LAH....EXCUSE ME FACT NO 1...DID U EVER EVER PLAN AN OUTING BEFORE...LIKE EVER BEFORE....FROM LANTERN DAY FESTIVAL TO PPL BIRTHDAY...IT WAS EITHER ME OR CALISTA....IF I DUN PLAN WILL WE HAVE OUTING....DID I HEAR THANKYOU FOR PLANING...DUN GIVE EXCUSE THAT U CANNOT PLAN...WAS I BORN TO PLAN STUFF NO....U COULD AT LEAST TRY RITE....EVER DAR AND SAM TRIED TO HELP....
FACT NO 2.....IF U THINK TAT WE DUN TREASURE UR CARDS...WELL LET ME ASK U BACK...DID U TREASURE THE FRIENDSHIP BAND I MADE FOR U ALL...IF U WANT TO KNOW THE STRING WAS NOT CHEAP...IT WAS 10+...DID U ALL TREASURE IT...WADE BOUT THE STUFF I GIVE U ALL ON VALENTIMES DAY???...DID U ALL EVEN REMEMBER ...
I DID SOO MUCH FOR U ALL...WAT DO I GET NOTHING...NOTHING AT ALL...IF U DID HURT.... WELL I HURT 10 TIMES MORE THEN U...WAD U DID IS NOTHING COMPARE TO WAT I DO...IF U THINK U HAVE BIG FRIENDSHIP PROBLEMS...WELL I HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS THAN U DO...NOT ONLI BOUT U ALL BUT OTHER PPL TOO...
I DUN WAN TO SAY THIS BEFORE BECAUSE I CHOOSE NOT TO...BUT U LEFT ME NO CHOICE...DUN LET ME DO SOMETHING THAT I WILL REGRET....
THIS WAS MEANT TO BE POSTED AT 8/22/08... but i kinda took it down after a few seconds.. since no one really read my blog any more i shall put this up !!!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
things that pilling up on my head
* disclaimer this is not my usual Happy blog.. do u can choose not to read this cause i juz wanted to type out wat i have been feeling for a while.. or maybe like 2 plus years.. if i dun do something my brain will possibly explode
OK .. now where to start .. maybe the latest thing .. recently there are a lot of viral videos kinda like being shared on my facebook wall.. then everyone comments are like LOST HOPE IN HUMANITY... HOW PEOPLE CAN BE SO CRUEL....i mean i understand that is is not a right thing to just watch .. BUT i feel really affected when ppl say that how can others do this.. i mean lets say if you were in the same situation (maybe not serious like e.g. some minor fights) WOULD YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING??.. I can vouch for me that i SURELY would do something even though i may be afraid cause i know whats right (cause it is not like i have not stop ppl fights before) ... BUT WHAT REALLY BOTHER ME IS THAT THOSE PPL WHO SAY THAT THEY WILL DO SOMETHING MAY BECOME SO AFRAID WHEN THEY ARE REALLY IN THE SITUATION.... i mean i dunno but i mean look around us ... it is called the "by- stander" effect.. it has even be examined on in the U.S... everyone thought someone will do something so they juz stand and watch... i mean if u can complain and say it then u should have the COURAGE to do so ... i have seem to much people JUZ KNOW HOW TO SAY but they DUN DO IT... so much for the big talk huh... the BLAME game...
Another thing ...ummm.. ok the GD thingy.... I am not so much writing on SUPPORTING HIM or anything... i mean i still ♥ him and think he is like super awesome cause songs are like so hard to produce (believe me i tried >.< ) and the smoking weed dun really have a big impact on me... WHAT AFFECT ME IS THE FANS REACTION TO IT.... i am not sure if it is because i am like somewhat more american-ize ( which confuse me cause i am like in a very Chinese home environment).. I think that a bit of taking drugs is fine as long as you know is wrong and will try to change it... NOT THAT I THINK IT IS RIGHT TO DO DRUGS...i mean ppl make their own decisions right... a wrong decision once in a while can be forgiven right??.... what is the BIG DEAL???... on another thoughts in reality about 7 in 10 ppl do drugs in like american countries and actually most good production are produce by people who do drugs and alcohol!!.. I am not implying that GD should do drug i think he shld not do it ... but i am like stating facts... I MEAN FANS EVEN COMPLAIN ABOUT HIM SMOKING!!!... i know it is not good but korean culture ppl do that .. similar to china... why do PPL put him up soo high that he is sooo perfect... comeon we dun really know him personally so why judge??
JUDGE... hmm another topic ... i dun judge people.. i mean i seriously dun...i dunno why also.. (cause some ppl dont believe)... maybe i feel that you have your own choices and unless they are bad choices i dun really question much cause i believe you have ur reasons.. i am so used to ppl judging me .. I GET IT ALOT!!! .. i am like the 'MODEL" for ppl to judge !!! ... my voice, what i wear, what i do .. juz because i think very differently so i can get judged??... LUCKY, i dun care about what ppl think about me HAH! ( huge confidence haha not BIG EGO AH)... but i think ppl shld judge lesser... i walk on the street also hear ppl gossiping on what the gril walk past juz wear.. >.< .. in sch especially relationship ... i mean if they are happy together than be together la.. why muz ppl say like stupid stuff... with half of your class hating you because based on what they judge you is like really bad.... i mean ppl come up to me and say " cheryl, he hate you cause he think u veri fake " then i say " ok , so what ?"... then they surprise caused i dun feel sad or something...if we all judge each other than we shld really rethink relationship between ppl cause it is like build up on assumptions... then ppl like me the "weird" ppl will always be like discriminated
HAIZ.. i feel better haha but i still a lot of things to say... maybe i juz say one last thing... UNIVERSITY PPL AND LIFE!!!.... i am very tired of ppl saying " cheryl wa u so independent" "i want to be like you , you can like do stuff alone"... IT IS NOT THAT I CHOOSE TO BE ALONE RITE!!!... i know many ppl have like groups that they can almost stay together cause they choose the same modules.. BECAUSE I AM DIFFERENT i have to do theater studies and lit by myself... i dun wan to study something i dun like just to stick with friends... MY BEST FRIEND IS MYSELF... i dunno how many times i have been to town to shop alone already.. not that i emo or no friends it is juz i dun wan to trouble them... one month i may go town up to 5 times... it will be like kinda bad to keep bothering ppl to go with me juz to get my stuff... yes i really do enjoy my alone time E.g. reading book and eating cake in a nice cafe... but sometimes i also need someone to be there for me right... do you even know i got so lost in sch one day juz because i need to find my classroom for nxt day lesson and it was like 8 plus and was so dark.. i kept waiting for the bus but it nvr came... all i can see are ppl that like walk past me in groups laughing... i was really upset and went home to cry ... but who really cares.. ppl only tink about themselves..thinking it is alright to juz leave me alone cause i can be INDEPENDENT!!!...and also that time about the group project.... they like told me 30 mins before the meeting time that they cancel the project.. and i was already alone in sch for 4 hours then they cancel so i have to be alone for another 2 hours ... so 6 hours alone!!.. i mean if you wan to cancel u shld have said so earlier rite.. i shld have when home and slp...JUZ BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE A BIG GANG OF PPL it is ok for u to cancel cause at least u guys are still together as a gang BUT I AM ONE PERSON... I AM ALONE... i really dunno wat to do anyone!!
i think i shld stop typing cause im afraid i will like go emo.. i dun really feel like ending it with xoxo and hugs and kisses like i usually do...i dun usually type mt personal feelings but if u managed to read until here thanks a lot.. haha hope it wasnt to boring.. and maybe u are my great friends if so i ♥ you.. but my mind and whole world is always soo messed up..I AM ALWAYS WRONG BECAUSE OTHER PPL ARE RIGHT.. i really hope i can find someone as "weird" as me so maybe they can understand and relate to my feelings cause i thin k up to know unless i choose to expose myself to you..most ppl will onli know the "side" of me that i choose to show
OK .. now where to start .. maybe the latest thing .. recently there are a lot of viral videos kinda like being shared on my facebook wall.. then everyone comments are like LOST HOPE IN HUMANITY... HOW PEOPLE CAN BE SO CRUEL....i mean i understand that is is not a right thing to just watch .. BUT i feel really affected when ppl say that how can others do this.. i mean lets say if you were in the same situation (maybe not serious like e.g. some minor fights) WOULD YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING??.. I can vouch for me that i SURELY would do something even though i may be afraid cause i know whats right (cause it is not like i have not stop ppl fights before) ... BUT WHAT REALLY BOTHER ME IS THAT THOSE PPL WHO SAY THAT THEY WILL DO SOMETHING MAY BECOME SO AFRAID WHEN THEY ARE REALLY IN THE SITUATION.... i mean i dunno but i mean look around us ... it is called the "by- stander" effect.. it has even be examined on in the U.S... everyone thought someone will do something so they juz stand and watch... i mean if u can complain and say it then u should have the COURAGE to do so ... i have seem to much people JUZ KNOW HOW TO SAY but they DUN DO IT... so much for the big talk huh... the BLAME game...
Another thing ...ummm.. ok the GD thingy.... I am not so much writing on SUPPORTING HIM or anything... i mean i still ♥ him and think he is like super awesome cause songs are like so hard to produce (believe me i tried >.< ) and the smoking weed dun really have a big impact on me... WHAT AFFECT ME IS THE FANS REACTION TO IT.... i am not sure if it is because i am like somewhat more american-ize ( which confuse me cause i am like in a very Chinese home environment).. I think that a bit of taking drugs is fine as long as you know is wrong and will try to change it... NOT THAT I THINK IT IS RIGHT TO DO DRUGS...i mean ppl make their own decisions right... a wrong decision once in a while can be forgiven right??.... what is the BIG DEAL???... on another thoughts in reality about 7 in 10 ppl do drugs in like american countries and actually most good production are produce by people who do drugs and alcohol!!.. I am not implying that GD should do drug i think he shld not do it ... but i am like stating facts... I MEAN FANS EVEN COMPLAIN ABOUT HIM SMOKING!!!... i know it is not good but korean culture ppl do that .. similar to china... why do PPL put him up soo high that he is sooo perfect... comeon we dun really know him personally so why judge??
JUDGE... hmm another topic ... i dun judge people.. i mean i seriously dun...i dunno why also.. (cause some ppl dont believe)... maybe i feel that you have your own choices and unless they are bad choices i dun really question much cause i believe you have ur reasons.. i am so used to ppl judging me .. I GET IT ALOT!!! .. i am like the 'MODEL" for ppl to judge !!! ... my voice, what i wear, what i do .. juz because i think very differently so i can get judged??... LUCKY, i dun care about what ppl think about me HAH! ( huge confidence haha not BIG EGO AH)... but i think ppl shld judge lesser... i walk on the street also hear ppl gossiping on what the gril walk past juz wear.. >.< .. in sch especially relationship ... i mean if they are happy together than be together la.. why muz ppl say like stupid stuff... with half of your class hating you because based on what they judge you is like really bad.... i mean ppl come up to me and say " cheryl, he hate you cause he think u veri fake " then i say " ok , so what ?"... then they surprise caused i dun feel sad or something...if we all judge each other than we shld really rethink relationship between ppl cause it is like build up on assumptions... then ppl like me the "weird" ppl will always be like discriminated
HAIZ.. i feel better haha but i still a lot of things to say... maybe i juz say one last thing... UNIVERSITY PPL AND LIFE!!!.... i am very tired of ppl saying " cheryl wa u so independent" "i want to be like you , you can like do stuff alone"... IT IS NOT THAT I CHOOSE TO BE ALONE RITE!!!... i know many ppl have like groups that they can almost stay together cause they choose the same modules.. BECAUSE I AM DIFFERENT i have to do theater studies and lit by myself... i dun wan to study something i dun like just to stick with friends... MY BEST FRIEND IS MYSELF... i dunno how many times i have been to town to shop alone already.. not that i emo or no friends it is juz i dun wan to trouble them... one month i may go town up to 5 times... it will be like kinda bad to keep bothering ppl to go with me juz to get my stuff... yes i really do enjoy my alone time E.g. reading book and eating cake in a nice cafe... but sometimes i also need someone to be there for me right... do you even know i got so lost in sch one day juz because i need to find my classroom for nxt day lesson and it was like 8 plus and was so dark.. i kept waiting for the bus but it nvr came... all i can see are ppl that like walk past me in groups laughing... i was really upset and went home to cry ... but who really cares.. ppl only tink about themselves..thinking it is alright to juz leave me alone cause i can be INDEPENDENT!!!...and also that time about the group project.... they like told me 30 mins before the meeting time that they cancel the project.. and i was already alone in sch for 4 hours then they cancel so i have to be alone for another 2 hours ... so 6 hours alone!!.. i mean if you wan to cancel u shld have said so earlier rite.. i shld have when home and slp...JUZ BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE A BIG GANG OF PPL it is ok for u to cancel cause at least u guys are still together as a gang BUT I AM ONE PERSON... I AM ALONE... i really dunno wat to do anyone!!
i think i shld stop typing cause im afraid i will like go emo.. i dun really feel like ending it with xoxo and hugs and kisses like i usually do...i dun usually type mt personal feelings but if u managed to read until here thanks a lot.. haha hope it wasnt to boring.. and maybe u are my great friends if so i ♥ you.. but my mind and whole world is always soo messed up..I AM ALWAYS WRONG BECAUSE OTHER PPL ARE RIGHT.. i really hope i can find someone as "weird" as me so maybe they can understand and relate to my feelings cause i thin k up to know unless i choose to expose myself to you..most ppl will onli know the "side" of me that i choose to show
Thursday, October 20, 2011
MUI BDAY :) 19 on 19
THANKS EVERYONE AND ANYONE THAT WISHED ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY :) either I FORCE or hmmm ( NVM ) haha :)
Bday celebration started on TUES NITE 18 oct :) dinner with my ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ppl :) !!! as usual bday tradition i will be treating!! this year upgrade to pizza hut !!! UPGRADE WOOO!!! after many years of McDonalds >.<
we kinda order too much stuff !!
WAITER : just 4 of you can finish
ME : can *give big smile
WAITER: ummm ok :)
LESSON LEARNED!!! always trust the waiter :) then we eat eat then suddenly mama come... MAMA COME OMG MAMA COME!!! soo surprise *after 1 second of suprising.... MAMA EAT EAT EAT!!!!.. haha lol .. then she sat down and started eating!!!.. then because not convenient for her to eat the pizza.. she switch place with dar!! .. BEING THE PERSON I AM .. GAME!!!! haha role play ... dar became mama... mama became dar.. OMG IT WAS SOO EPIC AND FUN !!! me and dar cant stop laughing!!!!
then calista came!!! AT THE WRONG TIME SEEING 3 WEIRD PPL :) then she super lost !!! cause by that time i was shiyun... shiyun was still suet lian .. and suet lian was me!!!.... OMG SO HARD TO CALL SOMEONE DA JIE!!! ME CALL SOMEONE JIE!!! >.< then after many crazy laugh we settle the bill ( I SETTLE THE BILL AND SAM IF U ARE SEEING THIS U OWN ME $ :p) .... then went to MOF to eat dessert...
MOF ... me still veri high cannot control my laughter haha!!! lol >.< ... then we all order ice cream and i order hot chocolate for my dardar :) ..... then we eat and kinda went like crazy again .. ( *SHIYUN STARE EYES TRADEMARK) ... tried to force calista to call ruilin mama!!! didnt work haha AWWW ( thinking back wadever i force her to do nvr work haiz :( )....then we eat talk laugh LAUGH LIKE MAD .. then went to my house !!! ( thanks mama and calista for the dessert :) <3
MY HOUSE!!! cut cake :):).. sing song!!! they got me one big candles and 9 small one haha :) YEAH although cant get 19 small but nvm !! like that already light until like mad le >.< .. happy happy blow WOOHHOOO !!! then CALISTA U AHHH WANT SABO ME EAT THE WHOLE CAKE RIGHT * air strangle :p.....i think mama bought the cake rite :) THANKS :):) <3 same cake also nvm LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER :) ♥ .. then eat cake and HAPPY TALK as always .. talk so much le still can talk ... this has been the 8th year we know each other .. 8 is not a very small number ok !!! ( ok touching thing shld put at the back)
THEN ON 19 oct :) morning piano lesson >.< urgh draggy !!! then lunch play skateboard in house haha !!! cause daddy not in house :) then at night went sakae eat.. i wanted something else but dennis was sick (oh well) !!... eat and eat and i successfully once again steal a pea for the bunch of peas haha ... yea FREE PEA!!!... then went to play the hello kitty game at the arcade (SAMANTHA i finally won it haah !!! ) then we went home met my other cuz !! force him *ahem tell him to say happy birthday to me haha
then at night got cake again !!! force dennis to sing loud haha :) YEAH WIN ( DENNIS : zero, CHERYL : WIN!!) then eat eat and bath
NOW FOR BDAY CALL !!! FIRST IS ...... MAMA HAHA THANKS FOR THE SMS <3..... and everyone else either on sms, fb or twitter ( YES DAR SPAM MY TWITTER >.< ).. AND ANG LILIN THANKS FOR THE 19 SMSES i was sooo shock !!! i thought u wan take revenge for me always spamming you haha!!! and like DENNIS TAN YI XUAN U STOOPID FREAK!!! but i got u back HA!!! nvm mess with me !!! and my lovely cousin BOON AH!!! smart ah u sms me on 19:10 !!! SOO COOL :) and XENIA for tellin me i am 19 on 19 :).. and yes SAM AH try harder nxt year k ...u always miss 1st :p
PRESENT TIME!!! thanks dar for the "essay" haha and the pillow thingy wahh damm comfortable haha ( YES I TRIED LE ) :) it looks super cute with me haha :) ... and my dear dear LAO GONG !!! thanks for the necklace :) ♥ ♥ it :).....DENNIS U AH!!! MAKE ME BUY MY OWN PREZ haha but i know u choose for me but i have le so much change :) thanks for GIVING money for the hello kitty foam cutter and my SKATEBOARD!!! ( strike own a skateboard from lists of things i always wanted) .. ALTHOUGH PAPA scold BUT I GOT A SKATE BOARD AND I KNOW HOW TO SKATE IN LIKE 5 MINS haha (although not so good ) MAMA buy me clay machine yeah :) wanted that for a long time and PAPA bought me ipad .. mani may want it but when i got it i was like *DENNIS AH HOW TO USE !!! >.< HAIZ TECH FAIL (BTW DENNIS GOT ONE TOO ).... last but not least BEN DAN SAM AND WENJIE !! thanks for the hello kitty toy and BALLOON!! BALLOON!!!! and sam LARGER note now haha and veri failed guessing game >.<
PRESENTS :)
WAHHH FINALLY GOING TO END LE PHEW.. SOO LONG!!! i want to say i really appreciate all of ur wishes :) MANY ARE LIKE I KNOW FOR MANI YEARS LE ( 5++ ) especially the 6 ppl haha u know who u are !!! not easy ok !!! so many years .... then SINEE AND CHENGQI THANKS FOR THE SMS :) <3 ya !!! and of course many 3/6 4/6 ppl on FB :)... AND JOEY FWU !!! WHYY SO MUSHY AH .. AND LILIN !!! (SHOCK OF THE YEAR ) HAHA and those on FB (i veri scared ppl angry i miss them out but who really read my blog anyway EXCEPT THE FEW *AHEM U KNOW WHO U ARE !!!) and of cause my BOON cuz !!! ♥ u guys everyone !!! seriously!!!! i learn to know that a few close friend are soo much better than a hundred normal friends :)
xoxo, hugs and kisses
PS. YES APPLE AND COLA 4 EVER
PSS. SO IS SPOIL RADIO GANG
PSSS. AND PIPILAND TOO :)
PSSSS. DENNIS TAN... REVENGE IS SOOO SWEET :P
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